The first date is a pivotal point in any online courtship because it’s the time when two people realize whether or not there could be something more between them. If the answer is yes, then you can expect a second date in the near future. If not, then you go your separate ways, but hey, at least you tried, right? Well, yes and no. Unfortunately many first dates that could have been a success end up flames because people seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.
Obviously the very first thing you (and all online daters) should do is look your date up on a site like Instant Checkmate just to make sure they’re not a criminal. Yes, there are plenty of criminals on dating sites, and chances are they’ll probably lie about their ex-con status. Better safe than sorry!
Once that’s out of the way and your date checks out, then you have to prepare for the first date by reminding yourself of what NOT to do. We like to call these first date “don’ts” because each rule is simple—don’t do it! To help you out, we’ve made a list of the four most important first date don’ts for online daters. Check them out below!
1. Getting Drunk
It’s no secret that a little booze can bring out your fun and outgoing side, but having too much to drink on a first date is a major turn off. Sure, having a cocktail or a glass of wine is perfectly fine because one or two drinks isn’t going to send you over the edge. But any more than that, and you’re sure to start acting a little different, which your date will notice right away. It’s understandable that you might have the first-date jitters, but you should embrace those butterflies rather than trying to drown them with alcohol.
2. Bringing Up Past Relationships
On a first date, do not talk about your ex! This is probably one of the most important rules out there, yet many people fail miserably. If you start going on and on about someone you used to date, especially if you’re bashing them, your date will be pretty annoyed, and that’s the last thing you want. We get it; if you had a serious relationship in the past, then it can be easy to revert back to those memories and bring them up in conversation.
So, in order to refrain from making this mistake, you need to be conscious about it and continuously remind yourself that ex-talk is off limits. The same rule applies to asking your date about their ex or past relationships—don’t do it. If you continue dating, those conversations are sure to come up at some point in the future, but there’s a time and place, and the first date is definitely not one of them.
3. Talking About Religion Or Politics
Religion and politics are extremely important topics, especially when it comes to relationships because obviously you want to share similar ideals, or at least have an understanding of your partner’s point of view. But a first date is a time to have fun and get to know one another on a surface level to see if there could potentially be something more. Religion and politics are definitely not surface-level conversations, so these topics should be avoided at all costs on a first date. Save those conversations for date three, four, even later if need be.
4. Playing On Your Cell Phone
We all know it’s rude to play on your phone when you’re supposed to be spending time with another person, but that doesn’t stop people from checking emails, updating social media, and texting while the other person sits there bored as hell. This behavior is bad enough when it’s a friend or family member, but when you’re on a first date, it’s ten times worse.
Imagine if you went to dinner with your online sweetie for the first time, and they sat across the table fiddling with their cell phone completely ignoring you. My guess is you’d be pretty pissed off, not to mention the fact that you’d never want to go on another date with them. So, keep this situation in mind, and don’t even touch your phone during your date. If you absolutely have to check your email or make a quick call, do it in the restroom or something, not while your date is sitting across from you.
Can YOU think of anything else to avoid on a first date? Let us know in the comments!
Ashley Welter is a blogger from San Diego, CA. She specializes in writing about dating and relationships.